PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 03
Sex On the Brain: The Christian View on Premarital Sex, Fornication, & Living Together.
May 18, 2014 | Danny Orh
Introduction: Premarital Sex, fornication, and living together outside of marriage are common practices in our current day and age. Contemporary thought continues to push the boundary on what is acceptable and what is moral. As believers, we must look to Scripture not only to defend our own faith, but also to know what God commands of us and to know how Scripture leads us to wise applications.
What is fornication and how is it different from premarital sex, if at all?
Fornication comes from the Greek word porneia from which we derive the word pornography. In it’s original meaning, it is referring to sexual immorality in general, which includes adultery, sex outside of marriage, bestiality, and other sexually immoral acts. Pre-marital sex falls under the umbrella term fornication, as sex is designed to be engaged within the covenant of marriage (1 Cor. 7:2).
Scripture does not use the term “pre-marital sex”, but instead addresses this as fornication and those who engage in it as fornicators. It is important to understand this term and what scripture has to say about this topic since there are many passages that warn against its practice and condemns its offenders. (1 Cor. 6:18-20, 1 Cor 7:2, Gal. 5:19-21, Rev. 9:21) The term “pre-marital sex” also gives context to something, sex, outside of what God had originally designed it for, which is in the confines of marriage. Those who practice pre-marital sex have sinned and condemned as fornicators.
On living together outside of marriage:
We often believe that we are able to handle the temptation and that we can trust our heart and that of our significant other. Though the world often tells us to follow our heart, Scripture reminds us that our heart is not to be trusted. Jeremiah 19:9 reads, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Christ reminds us also in Matthew 15:19, "Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication."
Though there are many reasons not to live together before marriage, here are three (source: rayfowler.org):
Introduction: Premarital Sex, fornication, and living together outside of marriage are common practices in our current day and age. Contemporary thought continues to push the boundary on what is acceptable and what is moral. As believers, we must look to Scripture not only to defend our own faith, but also to know what God commands of us and to know how Scripture leads us to wise applications.
What is fornication and how is it different from premarital sex, if at all?
Fornication comes from the Greek word porneia from which we derive the word pornography. In it’s original meaning, it is referring to sexual immorality in general, which includes adultery, sex outside of marriage, bestiality, and other sexually immoral acts. Pre-marital sex falls under the umbrella term fornication, as sex is designed to be engaged within the covenant of marriage (1 Cor. 7:2).
Scripture does not use the term “pre-marital sex”, but instead addresses this as fornication and those who engage in it as fornicators. It is important to understand this term and what scripture has to say about this topic since there are many passages that warn against its practice and condemns its offenders. (1 Cor. 6:18-20, 1 Cor 7:2, Gal. 5:19-21, Rev. 9:21) The term “pre-marital sex” also gives context to something, sex, outside of what God had originally designed it for, which is in the confines of marriage. Those who practice pre-marital sex have sinned and condemned as fornicators.
On living together outside of marriage:
We often believe that we are able to handle the temptation and that we can trust our heart and that of our significant other. Though the world often tells us to follow our heart, Scripture reminds us that our heart is not to be trusted. Jeremiah 19:9 reads, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Christ reminds us also in Matthew 15:19, "Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication."
Though there are many reasons not to live together before marriage, here are three (source: rayfowler.org):
- Temptation. Let’s face it: living together, sharing a house, or sharing a bed is not the best way to fight temptation. If you are truly serious about saving sex for marriage, the last thing you should do is move in with the person whom you love and to whom you are sexually attracted. When you live together before marriage, you open yourself up for temptation.
- Testimony. The Bible says we should avoid even the appearance of evil. (Eph 5:3; 1 Thes 5:22) How does your decision to live together affect those around you? What kind of an example does it set for younger people who are watching? How will people view your relationship who do not know about your commitment to abstain sexually? Our testimony affects how people view Christ and the church. Many have rejected Christianity because they do not see people living it out. Living together presents a poor testimony for Christ and his church.
It's not primarily, "You're going to be tempted, and you're going to give in, and you're going to have more sex. That's why." That's not the main reason. The main reason is that when a man and a woman live together it says crystal clear to the world that having sex together without marriage is okay. That's what it says. Now, you say you're a Christian. Do you want to say that sex before marriage is okay? And if you want to say that, then something is profoundly wrong! And if you say, "That's their problem," you're not loving people. It's not their problem. It is your problem. You should take steps to communicate truth, and the sanctity of sex in marriage is a glorious truth, and you should want to hallow it and cherish it. – John Piper - Trivialization. Living together trivializes marriage by taking away from the uniqueness of marriage. Living together pretends to be marriage, but it is not the same thing. It is really a mockery of marriage and therefore dishonors marriage. This goes against Heb 13:4 which says: “Let marriage be honored by all.” I think it’s sad when a couple who lives together and finally gets married says, “It’s not that different.” They have lost out on part of the joy and uniqueness of the marriage relationship which God intended for them.
We must look to Scripture for these principles and for wisdom so that we may seek holiness, not our own gain. Though we have Christian liberties, we are to see to honor the Lord in all that we do.
“It is here in the marriage bed that the physical, emotional, the sexual and the spiritual meet in an unparalleled way. It is here that we allow our spouse to see us in the deepest and most vulnerable context. No one else is ever meant to see us here, to see us in this way. This is where we lay ourselves bare, where we are naked and unashamed in all that we are. This is where we abandon pretense and self-love in favor of authenticity and service. This is where we express the kind of commitment to one another that says, “We are working on this portrait together, and by God’s grace we will work on it to the end.” –Tim Challies
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