PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 04

PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 04

Sex On the Brain pt2: How the Brain Influences the Sex Drive.

May 25, 2014  |  John Chow

Introduction: God created men and women with differences and distinctions. Though the brain of men and women has similar anatomical sections, it does not operate the same in each gender. 

For example, the hypothalamus, the brain’s sex center, is larger in men than in women because of its high sensitivity to testosterone. Similarly, the hippocampus and amygdala work together to amplify and connect memories and feelings. Women are more likely to associate feelings to past events than men, who remember solely the event without the emotions.

The brain also has more than 70 different chemicals that have significant impact on the brain, affecting our emotions and responses. Estrogen, oxytocin and testosterone are three of these chemicals that impact our brains. Estrogen is higher in women than in men, and this particular hormone produces calmness and peace. (It’s different, however, at different times of the menstrual cycle.) Similarly, the oxytocin produces cuddling, bonding and connectedness. In men, testosterone elevates the sex drive, aggression, competitiveness, focus and independence. From Genesis 1:27, though we are created in God’s image, men and women, men and women are not the same, they are created differently, and God intended each to be different.

Because of the distinct brain makeup and different chemical impact each gender has, the sex drive between genders is also different. Generally speaking, men are like microwaves and can become sexually aroused very quickly. They can be ready for sex almost anywhere and anytime. Women, however, are more like crockpots—they take time to “heat” up but they can maintain a sexual drive longer. Men are more sexually stimulated by sight and images they see. Women are more stimulated by feelings, smells, touch and words.

Since a sex drive is so powerful, how then shall we live? 

1. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-4 instructs us to pursue and permit sanctification—pursue it with intention while submitting to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. The passage tells us to abstain from sexual immorality and for each to control his or her body for sanctification and honor. This is God’s will. Since men struggle with the visual stimulation of pornography, Christian men should rid their pornographic magazines or turn off pornographic websites, making also their computers screens visible to others (for accountability). Women should be aware that men could be stimulated by how a woman is dressed. From bikinis to short-shorts to low neckline blouses, these are visually stimulating to men to various degrees. (Admittedly, this implies that women can be a cause of men’s sexual drives, intended or not, and a woman can feel unreasonably burdened by having to dress so as to not be this stimuli. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 gives instruction on this issue of dress (dressing excessively to boast or to under-dress so as to be alluring), however, the ultimate goal is godliness.)
2. Reading Romans 13:11-4, we are instructed to stop sexual immorality in light of our lives in Jesus Christ. We should recognize that sexual immorality is a sin, and it’s not a lifestyle we should fantasize, explore or accommodate. We must make a stand to not be engaged in premarital sex, fornication, “hooking-up”, having “friends with benefits”, casual sex or the like. Despite it being so pervasive in our culture and society, stand firm. Likewise, we should “make no provision for the flesh in regards to its lusts” by not allowing roommates to occupy your dorm for immoral sexual activity. You may be persecuted or ridiculed for it, but suffering for righteousness is part of the Christian life. And the value of suffering for Christ comes with a much greater reward than being liked or accepted.