PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 02

PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 02

Sinners Marry Sinners: Having the Right Expectations About Whom We Court & Marry.

May 4, 2014  |  Carl Sujo

Introduction: Take a moment and review these surveys taken in class by the students who were present.

Male Survey Results
Female Survey Results

Some reasons people get married:

• To have a family
• Love
• Not to be lonely/Have companionship
• It will make me happy
• Societal expectations
• Part of life/Maturity

"SOUL MATE"
defn: noun - a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
ideal: There is one person in the world that God has especially prepared for you that He wants you to marry and would make the perfect partner for you.

Is it a Biblical idea?

• Adam and Eve (Gen 2:18-25) – Eve was specifically created for Adam to be his helper. However, it was not a perfect marriage. Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to Adam. They fell into sin together. Adam blamed Eve.(Gen 3:12)
• Isaac and Rebekah (Gen 24:12-15) – Abraham sent his oldest most trusted servant back to his home country to find a wife among his relatives. His servant prayed for the one that God appointed for Isaac. This suggests the idea that there is an appointed spouse. However, she was not a “perfect” partner. Later in Gen 27, Rebekah intentionally deceives him to steal the blessing away from Esau to give it to Jacob.
• Predestination – God is sovereign (Jer 29:11) – People may argue that since God predestines everything and is sovereign, He predestined a soul mate for everyone. Jer 29:11 was spoken to Jews who were in captivity but many people take it out of context and apply it directly to themselves. The problem with using predestination as a proof for the idea of “Soul Mate” is that all marriages would be predestined by God to be between “Soul Mates”. However, then that would lead to blaming God for predestining the divorce and failed marriages. It is not to say that predestination is not true. It is just that predestination cannot be used to prove the idea of “Soul Mates”

Although many may believe it, the idea of “Soul Mates” as described above is NOT Biblical. 

DIVORCE

40-50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce.

Top 10 Reasons For Divorce and Marriage Breakdowns: American Stats (link)

1. Difference in priorities and expectations
2. Addiction
3. Child-rearing issues
4. Religious and cultural strains
5. Boredom in marriage
6. Sexual incompatibility
7. Marital Financial issues
8. Physical, psychological or emotional abuse
9. Communication breakdown in relationships
10. Marriage Infidelity

These reasons by people for divorce can be summarized as twofold: 1) sin and 2) lack of commitment.

SINNERS MARRY SINNERS

We are all sinners (Rom 3:23) – Since we are all sinners we need to realize that when we marry another person, they are a sinner as well. All marriages have problems because we bring our sin into them. Getting married does not solve our short comings. Rather it exposes them. Marriage reveals our sins and faults.

Application

• Set real expectations for marriage – You and your spouse are sinners and your marriage will not be a “Happily Ever After” life. 
• Marriage calls for sacrifice (Eph 5:22-27) – Christ sacrifices Himself for the church to present her holy and blameless. Husbands are to sacrifice themselves for their wives. Wives are to submit, a type of sacrifice, to their husbands. Go into marriage knowing that sacrifice is what God calls us to. 
• Set a new purpose for marriage, which is to make each other more holy before God.