PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 05

PASSAGE: Date, Mate, Consummate | Lesson 05

Singleness: It's OK To Be Single.

June 1, 2014  |  Darren Lo

Introduction: Often perplexing, we have been bombarded with various ideas and interpretations on the idea of remaining single for a season or entirety of our life. Much of the world, culture, society, and even the church have given various reasons to either be or not be single. They could include:

• An idol of independence: a do-it-yourself mentality that focuses solely on your own personal happiness.
• An idol of dependence: a high value on the desire for intimacy, family, and a ‘fairy tale ending’.
• “As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord’s work.”
• “As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, he’ll bring someone special into your life.”
• “Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you into someone wonderful.”

With so many varying misperceptions, let’s allow some Biblical perceptions to set the baseline for our ideas on singleness:

1. 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 calls us to live in the world and all its successes, failures, and concerns, but also realize that there is a future eternity awaiting us. Don’t be so caught up in the world’s desires (independence or dependence) to such an extreme that you lose focus on what is to come: a life forever with our Heavenly Father. 
2. 1 Peter 1:3-4 revolutionizes our idea of the misnomer that physical reproduction was the only way to expand God’s chosen people. John Piper says, “Jesus makes clear that his people—the true people of God—will be produced not by physical procreation but by spiritual regeneration.” We are ‘whole’ people through our redemptive status, not by our marital/dating status.
3. 1 Corinthians 7:35 calls us to focus on becoming the right person instead of being easily distracted on fulfilling some ‘wish list’ in a relationship partner. Andy Stanley asks us a simple (yet somewhat confusing) question, “Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?” (read it carefully) Instead of looking at someone else with a list of traits, attributes, and personalities, ask yourself how you are becoming the right person by having ‘undistracted devotion to the Lord.”
4. 1 Corinthians 7:19-20 tells us to remain in the condition in which we are called. Whether currently single, dating, or married, consider it a calling by God, so that you work towards glorifying God with that status. “I am single now because this is God’s best for me” –Paige Benton. Understanding that your life situation as a calling should cause you to give yourself entirely to God—because being with Him is the ultimate relationship!
5. 1 Peter 4:9-10 focuses our attention on the benefits of community throughout various life situations. If single or not, the church is a community in which we all ought to offer ourselves for benefit of others. Tim Keller encourages that, “Singles must not act as if who they marry is a decision belonging just to them as individuals.” With the church, those that sense a void due to relationship status should not feel as though they are missing out—it is a wonderful place to be connected in love, service, and commitment!

Conclusion

1. Keep the future life (eternity) in perspective. Don’t allow yourself to elevate dating/marriage to be your ultimate goal. Nor be utterly disappointed because you’re single.
2. Work on becoming the right person. Start with the list found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for yourself to work on. 
3. Do the work of God’s calling in your life situation now. 
4. Enjoy the church—nurture Christ-centered relationships through fellowship and community.